Rebecca: Welcome, friends, to season eight of the Sequoia Breeze Podcast.
I am your host, Rebecca La Savio.
Unbelievably, it's been three and a half years, 65 episodes, since we started this journey together.
Over the summer, I spent some time reflecting on where we've been and where we're headed.
Just like when we plan our homeschool year, I had to ask myself what's working,
what's not, and what no longer fits?
As homeschoolers, we know the value of a good reset. It helps us to stay fresh and avoid burnout. I realized I needed the same reset for the podcast.
So thanks to the encouragement of our wonderful Sequoia Grove family,
I have made some changes that I think will help keep this space fun and inspiring instead of stressful.
So here's my new plan. A relaunch with a fresh look and a new rhythm.
Instead of pushing out a weekly episode, I will be releasing a new one on the first Monday of each month throughout the school year.
This gives me the freedom to follow inspiration rather than a rigid schedule. And honestly,
that's when I'm at my best.
That's when this podcast can continue to deliver a breath of fresh air.
So how about you? Did you start your school year with a little reevaluation and some fresh inspiration?
Today's guest hst, Jamie Hap, will help us to sharpen our vision and mission as we continue this homeschool journey together.
Welcome, listeners. I'm excited today to have Jaime Happ joining me. She is an HST with Lakeview and has an interesting story to tell us, as well as an invitation to help us all as homeschool parents figure out why we're doing this thing and why that's so important.
A really crucial step. So welcome, Jaime.
Jaime: Yes, thanks for having me, Rebecca.
Rebecca: So tell us a little bit about you.
Jaime: Yeah, let's see. I am a homeschool mom, like probably most of you listening, and we're in our 13th year of homeschool, so. And I have four girls,
and they range from 12th grade. We have a senior this year, up through or down to a fifth grader, so.
And I'm also an hst, so I get to walk alongside other families doing the same thing.
Rebecca: So tell us. I know that this is this conversation that we're having. You have done in the form of sort of trainings in the past, both for another school and within our schools.
So tell us a little bit about how you ended up doing that.
Where did that come from?
Jaime: Well, experience is a good teacher. So I was about four years into homeschooling our kids and I had third grader, a first grader and two toddlers at home and trying to work as a in the capacity of like an HST another school and trying to do all the things right.
Because I was the model. Right.
And trying to be the best homeschool mom I could and doing all the curriculum that I had given other families before.
And we were doing so many things and it turned into be way too much.
It was stressful.
I'd say way too much shoulds and invites, accepting invites and really came to a point where very little of what we'd said yes to was even serving what I had jumped into homeschool for.
So I kind of came to a point where it was like, what are we doing?
And came across a blog, the proverbial homemaker. And Tanya Meyer, she's a Oregonian homeschool mom. And she was sharing how if you don't have vision,
what do you get in homeschool? You get chaos. And I'm like, yes.
And so kind of following along with some of her advice like finding what is your vision and then filtering that. And we found so much joy, so much came off of our plates that made room for what mattered and to do the things we did do really well.
Rebecca: So by creating vision, you're creating a decision point for whether to say yes to a material or an activity or something.
Jaime: Absolutely, yeah. Because you look at our library, you look at our Vista ordering system, there is so much we can fill our home with, we can fill our time with.
Rebecca: And, and it can look like a really big pot of money too.
Jaime: Yes. You have to spend this.
And it's really good stuff. Let's, you know, there's really good stuff. But is it what my student, my children need? What do my, what does my family need? Is the, the piece that something really good could turn into something that's just a weight.
Rebecca: So how did you end up sharing that with others?
Jaime: Well, as being an hst, I went,
I need to tell other people about this.
And then just finding that that really turned into being able to do little sessions with families to help them no matter how long you've been homeschooling, just to reset and to look at that vision and, and working together kind of through answering so many questions and then using a mission statement that we create to filter all of our decisions that we homeschool with through.
And it's been really life giving.
Rebecca: By the end of this conversation,
what do you hope parents understand?
What do you want them to take away or be able to do to improve their own homeschools?
Jaime: I think coming away with an understanding of why you as a parent is doing what you're doing,
knowing your why and knowing how to make that happen, and then having a plan in place where you feel like you're in charge of your homeschool and you're in charge of the path you're taking.
Rebecca: We touched on this a little bit. I mean, we're talking about creating clear understanding of where we're trying to go and. And how that can give us decision points and help us be able to let go of the things that are unnecessary, but talk more about why that why is so important.
Jaime: Yeah,
kind of got a little bit of the why also from Simon Sinek. He is an author and a motivational speaker. And he said working hard for something we don't care about is called stress.
Working hard at something you love is called passion. And that's what we're really wanting to instill in our kids. That's what we're wanting to experience.
It's really important because we're giving our lives to this for, whether it be a school year or,
you know, a decade of schooling, wherever you are in the continuum of homeschool, you've chosen it for a certain time, and so you're dedicating yourself to it, and you want to get the results that you were hoping for.
Rebecca: So talk to us about how do we go ahead and create this?
You've talked to me beforehand about vision and mission, and I would love for you to maybe describe the difference and how do we.
How do we start creating those things?
Jaime: Yeah. So if you think about when you work your way backward is what I found kind of works. Where do you want to get to? What is it that you're wanting to see?
You're going to find what your vision is, and your vision is what you're aspiring to.
Then creating that mission is the pathway. It's how you're going to get there. And so when you have that mission statement of this is how we're doing this to get to this vision,
then you're able to have a clear path. It's. You kind of have your. Your map set out for you.
Rebecca: So your mission could change year from year to year, I would say.
Jaime: So I think there's an overall bigger.
You know, each of us started with why I'm. Why I'm choosing homeschool. Right. And that's maybe a bigger vision, but it's going to develop it's going to morph. It's going to shift as your life shifts.
There's things that happen that you don't expect to happen.
You also see your kids grow and they become maybe someone a little bit different than you were thinking they were at 5. You know, now they're 13.
And so. Or maybe you started homeschooling mid elementary or middle school and now you're seeing a shift in your child because they're in a different environment.
And so,
yes, that vision can change. I think overall you're wanting.
Rebecca: Well, the vision would stay the same. Right? Mostly. Do you think, or do you think that adjusts too?
Jaime: I think we mature and our vision matures.
Rebecca: Fair enough.
Jaime: Okay. But you're right, it is kind of a bigger picture.
Rebecca: Might want to think harder about changing that vision than you would. Maybe the mission of, like, here's how we're going to get there to this year.
Jaime: Because the vision is always what you're reflecting on. What is it that we are doing and is our mission taking us there?
Rebecca: Did you spend time working with your husband on this?
Jaime: I did.
Rebecca: Or did you do it by yourself?
Jaime: I did actually have him. And we review it every year, mostly me now, but we did because we were going, what is it that we're doing? And you know, for us, we really wanted our kids to know each other growing up.
We also do a lot of travel and wanted our kids to be able to go experience the world with us. And so that's been a goal. So that's something that, you know, didn't happen,
honestly, didn't happen for the first 10 years of homeschool, really, besides little trips here and there.
And we kind of saw the fruition of that vision happened just this last year with much older kids.
And so there was that bigger vision. But then again, the mission, it's all kind of just shifted as the kids have grown, as our life has changed. But I think the biggest question was that really got me was what I want the end result of our homeschooling journey to be?
And the question was, what do I want my kids to say about their experience when they're adults and someone says, so what? Tell me about your homeschool experience. What is it that I'm hoping that they will say?
And that's that starting point.
Rebecca: Well, talk about what you shouldn't or shouldn't include in your vision and mission, because,
like, what do you want your kids to say as a abroad, A little bit nonspecific, but at the same time, you can't say I want my kid to be a math genius because you don't have any control of that.
Jaime: Right, right, right.
Yeah. So, yeah, I think,
yes, you're looking at like,
so ours turned into.
Let me see if I could pull it up real quick for you.
I said I wanted adults who knew their identity, their family, and are equipped to do and be what they're made for. So let's see the vagueness in that and that can, that broadens out to all four of my kids too.
So I want all of them to have that. Now one's discovered photography as a sophomore,
never knew she was interested at all. So that changes that mission for her that now those things that I'm filtering.
So she is finding something she's equipped to do and that she has passion for.
And now everything we,
you know, are,
we're vetting basically those things that we add to her play based on, do they help her know her identity, her family, or equip her for what she's passionate about? And so taking classes in photography or going places and really giving her opportunities to hit the golden hour, those different things.
Be willing to stop the car when there's a rainbow, you know,
and knowing that that's what I'm gonna take time for because yes,
we might miss whatever I was rushing home to get to,
but this moment is gonna pass and she's not gonna have it and I'm gonna feed her passion right now. So even on those day to day little things like do I stop the car, do I keep going?
Rebecca: Those are those things you've already decided that's a priority. So you don't have to think very hard about it right now, like,
yes, we need dinner, but it can wait 15 minutes.
Jaime: Yes, yes, yes, exactly. We'll, we'll shift what we're making tonight and have something easy, you know?
Yes, things like that and, and also realizing that,
you know, you're gonna have to filter if you have multiple children, as I do, some things are gonna have to filter through that lens of family. A family. Is that priority to you too?
Because there can be passions that we want to filter, we want to allow our kids to pursue, but we're also looking at the cost too. And so that's where that vision helps you decide.
Is this where we're going? Is this what we're going to commit time to and then maybe find a way where they can follow that passion in a way that also meets the bigger vision for your family?
Rebecca: Okay, so you've come up with your vision and decided where you want your family to go.
And if this is all brand new, you've thought through the mission for now, knowing that the more you learn,
the more you'll be able to make some adjustments to that,
the more you see. Because really, when your kid's five, you don't know what their talents and passions are.
You have no idea.
So you just let em try stuff for a while.
Jaime: Yes.
Rebecca: You know, but not. I didn't mean that in the idea, like, say yes to everything.
Jaime: I just do.
Rebecca: We dabble.
But then as, you know, as they grow and as you grow and you get a better idea of,
I don't know, there's something that filters in us as parents too. Like, as our kids are getting older, you start to feel differently about what's important because,
like, oh, my gosh, this time is so limited as we are both sitting here with our first seniors.
Jaime: Yes.
Rebecca: But as you refine, you know, you refine that plan. And interestingly. So our next podcast after. After this one is gonna be about something called essentialism,
which is all about learning how to. Like, every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else.
So you have to choose those yeses and no's and choosing what's really essential for your life. And this is a really fantastic introduction to that. Cause that's what you're saying with different words.
Jaime: 100% yes. Yes. It's choosing that best. Yes.
Rebecca: Yeah, talk to us about that.
Jaime: Yeah, I mean, for someone who likes to say yes, that's hard because there's always this question in yourself of, oh, my gosh, is this the. Is this the best yes or.
Cause that's a good yes. You know,
and so really just being able to sit and rest. And I think a big thing you pointed in on two is, you know, having seniors giving ourselves grace for those times.
I think we're getting to that point where I'm like, oh, I didn't.
I didn't give her everything I wanted to give her. But there isn't enough hours in the day to give what we want to give our children because.
Rebecca: And sometimes they get stuff from us that we don't know they're getting.
Jaime: True. And that's true too,
hopefully. Good stuff. Yeah.
And so I think giving yourself grace and just looking at, okay, today forward.
And,
you know, I said, I. I spent four years kind of just trying to do it the way that seemed like what I should do, you know, and rather than really looking at my kids and pick curriculum that I like to give to other Families versus what worked for them or.
Rebecca: So tell us about, like, at the end of that four years,
what was the different. Like, what did it shift to? Like, what did it look like before the vision and the mission and after the vision in the mission?
Jaime: Well, like I said, it was crazy. We were doing stuff every day, and I was dragging toddlers around to dance and.
Oh, my gosh, dance, piano, gymnastics.
I can't remember it all. It was over the top.
And then trying to squeeze in all the schoolwork. And I decided,
really thought really hard about it, and then went, I'm taking everything off.
And so just wiped the whole slate clean.
Had our vision,
had our mission, and then said, now what gets to come back? Or is there other stuff? You know, and the only thing that made it back, aside obviously, from your math reading, you know, but even that I hadn't established what curriculum we were going to use was piano, because that was a gift we wanted to give our daughters,
the gift of music. So that's not in the vision, but that's part of that mission to open up those different passions. And so piano stayed and everything else went.
And we started the school year, and about October, my extrovert, who we would say, she's the fear missing out,
I was so worried that I was disappointing her. And she came to me and she's like, mama,
this is the best school year yet.
And I was shocked.
Like, why. Why do you think that? She's like, well, I'm not having to rush my math. And so we just.
We're able to. To do our schoolwork. And I don't feel rushed as much. And I was really surprised by that. And to go further,
that November,
we lost our home in the campfire up in paradise. And. And so what had come off, we had simplicity in our lives.
And like a good homeschool mom, I packed up our curriculum.
It survived.
I don't know that we used it for a few months,
but we were.
Rebecca: Already made it in the car.
Jaime: Yes,
but there was the simplicity to our lives at that point that we needed so badly that year, and we didn't even know it.
And so coming back to that vision we had, it was really about our family first. And we were living in, you know, my best friend's master bedroom as one family for six weeks.
And, you know, so there was not a lot to focus on. I mean, school was even canceled up there for three, four weeks. And,
you know,
we got to focus on healing.
And school looked completely different, but we weren't trying to figure out all Those other places we had to go, that some of them weren't there anymore anyways. And so it really actually allowed for stability in the family and for us to focus on what was our vision important.
Rebecca: So having already pared down the shock of the fire,
would you say it was at least as far as sort of school and daily life goes, a little less of a shock because you. It wasn't. They weren't losing 14 activities a day?
Jaime: Absolutely. Yes. Yes.
Rebecca: We could do. School could become normal fairly quickly. Because it was simple.
Jaime: Yes, yes. And because we had things right there. I mean,
yeah, when we got into a home, we. We were able to just pull out what we had and ease back in, and.
And then we didn't have that pressure, and so. But we were doing what we knew we set out to do.
And, yes, there was some, maybe you would say, learning loss academically that year, of course, because there was, you know.
Rebecca: We learned a whole lot of other.
Jaime: Stuff, but there was a lot of light things that I think we would have lost had we been busying ourselves.
So. And that sounds like a promo to, like, pare down everything. I'm not saying that necessarily, but that was what was right for a family with two toddlers and,
you know, two young elementary kids.
Rebecca: So I knew you had been through the fire, but it occurs to me that your family has probably experienced this, like, paring down and simplifying twice, because after the fire, you're finally starting to get normalized and Covid hit.
Jaime: Oh, yeah,
yeah. Yes. Yes. We're like, oh, we know what this is about. In fact,
my girl,
I say toddler, but she started kindergarten that year as a very young kindergartner of the year of the fire. And then we're like, well, we're gonna do a retake. So we did kindergarten again, because her birthday's on the cutoff, and it's like, we'll be good.
And so we got two falls in, I think.
So it worked out. It worked out,
but we learned not to freak out. I think that's like. I think when we are holding so many things and juggling so many things, something's gonna fall.
We are gonna feel like we're failing at some point. And so if we're doing what we can manage and it's the things that we have vision for and passion for,
then it won't feel. It doesn't feel like you're juggling well.
Rebecca: When there's hard things going on, when there's trauma, when there's a death in the family or A difficult diagnosis or a fire or covet or any of those things where something is taking up your emotional energy,
most of your decisions that. That decision fatigue and the ability to think through something disappears. And so having a vision and a mission in place would then remove the need for a lot of those,
if not decisions that least you already know what to base it on. You don't have to think so deeply about the decision.
Jaime: It's written down.
Rebecca: Yeah.
Jaime: I mean, just like our evacuation thing, you know, have your list so that you're not frantic. What am I doing? You know, and so, yeah, it gives you a grounding place to be.
It gives you a foundation.
And so, yeah, I'm thankful that we had set this in place. I'm thankful for the overwhelming years that we had that led toward this and then that gave us that stability because we knew what we were doing.
And. And then again, right after Covid was kind of petering out, we moved into an rv.
That's where rebuilding our house. So again,
rethinking, what does school look like when it's mostly gonna be outside or in close quarters? We can't have all the things.
So. But I think it's no glitter. No ever.
Rebecca: We. We kind of mentioned a little bit that what schools and your priorities might look like when they're really little can change and adjust a little bit as. As they grow and as you grow.
But are there strategies or things,
you know, coming up with a vision and a mission for four kids and for one kid are. Are different. Can you talk a little bit about how to think through those things?
Jaime: Yeah, I think, you know, if you have, if you have one child, especially if. If you have an only child. So, you know, some families have one child, they're homeschooling, but they have other children in other school situations.
And so again, you're going to want to kind of tailor that homeschool, but it's more like a family vision in a lot of ways because,
you know, you're looking at hours that maybe one of the parents works too. And, you know, there's schedules that all come into that too. And looking at what is it that I really want for my kids.
So school aside,
what is it that I want for my kids?
Rebecca: Sort of a family vision. It is because homeschooling isn't really intended to be outside of.
Jaime: It serves the family vision. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that that's. Yeah, that's the bigger picture. So even if you're here and you're doing it for a year,
this is Something you can do as a family with a family vision. So.
So I think looking at that, but then also recognizing the individuality of your kids, too.
So, you know, as I said before, our, you know, we had little ones.
I had to think about nap time,
you know, and, and it wasn't fair to make, you know, little Caroline sleep in the front pack all the time and not get a consistent nap because we were going different places.
And. And so I was able to find ways to serve my two older daughters, even finding, like, oh, there's a theater they can walk to from my house. Like,
I mean, who gets that? That's special. But get creative. You know, maybe there's someone in your neighborhood or maybe there's a music teacher will come to you. So it's getting creative.
You don't have to say no to the things you really want yes to, but get creative to where it does.
There's ways to serve everybody.
Rebecca: Serve the family instead of drain it.
Jaime: Yes, yes. And it's okay to say no to,
too. But now looking at,
I, I'm still learning. Like, now we have a senior who's driving and doing community college and youth groups and sort of working and, you know, and so she's going here and there.
And I just realized last week, like, we haven't had a family dinner, and what does dinner have to do with homeschool? But again, coming back to that family vision, I went, oh, that's really critical.
Even as we get ready to release her another year or two. And so thinking about those things, going, hey, this is part of us knowing each other. Can we pick one night a week that we just say, no, we're not going to do friends that week or that that night or something.
So I've also found a challenge is sometimes we cater to the older child and the others kind of get pulled along.
Rebecca: And so especially when they're introverted and on the.
Jaime: Yes, yes. They're just. You're just tagging along. And so really that time of year to kind of.
You look at that vision and then go, how does each child.
How do they fit into this? And what am I doing for them?
Rebecca: And maybe evaluate to you talking about dinner brought this up, brought this to mind. But, like, what makes your family feel like everybody takes a deep, you know, lets out a deep breath, you know, what.
What makes every. What makes your family feel relaxed and grounded and together? And maybe that's a family movie night. Maybe it's a game. Maybe it's dinner together.
It struck me that yesterday it was my Oldest who said, mom, can you read to us? And it was like when we read,
we all.
And that's not true for everybody, but we've made reading aloud a really big priority at our house. And so it, it does. It brings the kids all down,
they sit quietly. There's no place else to be. And mom is actually not trying to do 14 things at once.
Jaime: Yes. Mom stopping, too.
And that's a huge thing because you're part of that family. Right. And so if we aren't doing things also that are helping us stay passionate about this,
then it's also going to be a problem and nobody's happy. Right. If mom's not happy. So I think it's important to also incorporate that. That learning coach that,
you know, I know a lot of it's moms, but whatever, whoever. The learning coaches really look at that because it's crucial. And it's funny how our kids want that, too.
Yeah.
Rebecca: Well, and it just. But don't forget to incorporate that. Like that, to me, is that thing that makes your family come down and feel calm is an anchor point, like to make sure that is happening as you're crafting your mission.
Jaime: Yes. That's what. Yes. There's a good strategy. Oh, my gosh. You're going to remember the person. But the, the whole morning basket,
that, that's something where it's like, if nothing else gets done today,
and that's where your vision. That's an easy.
Rebecca: I think it's a Pam Barnhill thing, and I think she calls it a minimum viable day.
Jaime: Yes.
Rebecca: Like if you,
if, if all you get done is this much, you can consider it a successful day. It may not be everything you wanted to do, but this much yes. Is good enough.
And for those days when everything falls.
Jaime: Apart and, and it goes in a basket and it's right there, you don't have to think about it and everybody knows.
Rebecca: So do you have any resources for families to help them go through this process?
Jaime: Yes. So you'll probably have this attached with the podcast, but there's a kind of vision planning sheet called the Action plan that you'll find attached to. And it is creating that personal, personal vision for homeschooling.
And it has six really great questions that came from the proverbial homeschool and helps you kind of develop that.
Figure out what your vision is and develop that mission statement, and then gives you the opportunity to write that mission statement and then things that help cultivate that vision as the next question and the things that get in the way of it.
And I think that's important to identify what gets in the way.
Rebecca: That's an interesting question to ask.
Jaime: Yes.
Rebecca: Because it's me.
Jaime: Yes. And be honest. It is. I know that's what we gotta be honest with ourselves.
Like mine was comparison.
Mm. Big one. Yeah. And taking the easy way over the better way. And distractions that don't build the person up the person for the better. But that comparison one was big.
Cuz there's lots of beautiful shiny things in the homeschool world and in the family world. You know, you see what is going on and then there's an action plan to it.
And so you can tie in your language arts, math, science, social studies and you can add in the extra extracurriculars, but write in that curriculum. But then you're identifying how that curriculum or how that activity is cultivating a vision.
And I think that to me there were some things I wanted to write and they're so bad and I was like, I can't answer that question about how it's serving the vision.
Rebecca: I love this because I.
I have so much FOMO and it's. And my husband's really good at like making me think it through and pushing back and sometimes I can't quite articulate.
But I also don't always have quite the right decision.
Piece.
Jaime: Yes.
Rebecca: That's really interesting.
Jaime: Yeah. Yeah.
Rebecca: I'm sorry, did you say you created this or you got this from the proverbial.
Jaime: I got part of it from the. I started with the proverbial homeschool and then I added in the kind of action plan.
Rebecca: Okay, so. And the proverbial homeschool is a religious resource that you found, but you have created.
Jaime: Yes, I created our own. That's.
Rebecca: That doesn't have any connection to that.
Jaime: Exactly. You. Yes.
Yeah. So it's a great. Yeah, just generic.
And I would say print one, print a master copy and then I revisit it every year because new things show up.
And then I also have a few little tips and tricks for moms with multiple ages that kind of help with that kind of geared a lot towards the smaller ones.
But I would say one big thing. If you are homeschooling more than one child,
I think that starting together part really helps you kind of keep that. And that's that morning basket is that perfect way to do that. But keep, think, consolidate as much as possible your subjects, cons and come together as much as you can to.
And it'll be a lot easier to keep your vision on the forefront.
Rebecca: What are Some things that you have seen trip families up as they're trying.
Jaime: To go through this process again, I think it's the,
the things that get in the way. Right. And it's personal for each person.
I think it's also maybe choosing what you think you should choose as opposed to,
well, what do you think? Really? It doesn't always look like something you want to like, brag about.
Right. And so, you know, for me, I was feeling almost shame a little bit about.
And we're only doing this one thing because I felt like it. Oh, I'd finally arrived.
They're like, yeah, we just do piano and she comes to us and you know, I, I being really frank. I think I felt like I was being lazy, but I knew I wasn't.
I knew it was really what my kids needed.
Rebecca: How many moms that you shared that with went, oh, that sounds so nice.
Jaime: They do. And I think it gives permission. It does. You know, and so I think that,
yeah. Realizing what is. And I think our kids will maybe sometimes want to do much things. And so even though I got the, the positive reinforcement in that case, that's not always the case.
Sometimes it's like, oh,
come on, you know, like you might get and then talk about it. And I think especially as your kids get older, I think it's important to involve them in.
Rebecca: Okay, so let's talk about that is, you know, casting the vision for the family and bringing them sort of on board as much as possible.
Jaime: Yes.
Rebecca: Sometimes the 13 year old's not going to get on board no matter what it is.
Jaime: But wait till they're 15.
Rebecca: Yeah, it does get better.
So but talk a little bit about casting that vision to the kids and do you need to win their five? You know, how do you.
Jaime: Yeah, I think I always love Charlotte. Mason has the.
I am.
What is it? I am.
I can. I ought.
I said I should. I don't think she does a should, but kind of just looking and we kind of talk about this is what we're doing, this is what, you know, it's about.
I don't think you have to be explicit with your, your young child, but I think it's important to. Even when they're entering into, say gymnastics or dance and we're trying this out, we're going to see if this is something you like.
And I think we can sometimes just start one thing and then add. And you know, we build kind of a friend group but, you know, through them and then we just add in something new and, you know, we can get really bogged down.
And so I think it's okay.
I.
I know a lot of us want our kids to be able to finish out something, but that can be a semester, it can be a season of soccer, it can be,
okay, we're going to get through this play. Then let's reevaluate. Is this, you know, if. Depending on what your vision is, you know, what is your.
This is still meeting our vision. You've tried it. You completed your commitment.
And, and that's part of a vision too, is building people that keep their commitments.
For example, our family took a pretty big trip last October that we have been wanting to take since before we started homeschool. Like, it was kind of, to me, one of these, like, this would be the cherry on top.
Like, we, you know, I thought if we're going to learn American history, we should learn it where American history started.
And so,
you know, I had a junior, a freshman,
a fourth grader, and a fifth grader, and now we're going to do it.
And so they all took. That's another way of seeing that vision. They all took US History that year. So even my California history girl, well, she's going to do that.
You know, we tied it in.
My freshman took U.S. history with her junior year sister. And so that was that creative way to consolidate. She still gets the credit on her transcripts.
And then we made this trip, so it was that much more meaningful.
And for us, it really was the kind of our victory that, oh, we had this.
Rebecca: This is the, this is why we're doing. What we're doing is because we wanted to get to this.
Jaime: This is the fruit of this I always wanted to do. And yes, it took 12 years.
Rebecca: Well, but also,
I know I'm struggling currently with our family. Like, it's really hard to take a trip or do something because it means we miss soccer practice, dance practice, theater practice, piano.
Like, it means we miss all of these things that are important to my kids. But I feel sometimes like we lose out on the flexibility that homeschool can give us because we've chosen these other things.
So the yes to all of those has meant a no to flexibility.
Jaime: It's just a season, you know, so that's how we. Coming back to how you're like, how do you share this vision with your kids? And we were like, hey, this has always been a vision we've had for our family.
So we aren't, you know, I didn't have my girls take community college classes that year ahead and do all hsb like anything they did class wise was a VA class, because then we can do it on the road.
And so we had that plan in place, and that's where, you know, if you don't have a vision, how do you make the plan? And vice versa. How do you make a plan if you don't have a vision?
You're not going anywhere, you know? And so it just felt like, oh, this is the.
This is the fruit of being able to have a vision, make a plan to it, and then just look at it for that fall semester, because then we added things back in.
So. But we. Our kids were in soccer, and we said, yes, but we're taking these weeks off so we can do this. And that just had to be okay. The coaches knew when we started,
and our kids were excited about it because we. They knew why we were making the choices we were making. And I think that helps when they. When you say a no.
Yeah. You know, or you say a yes, and I'm like, ooh, I don't know if I. You know, you're having them do something brave, you know,
and they can understand, okay, My mom has a reason for this. My learning coach has a reason for this.
Rebecca: So the last thing I wanted to cover is, I think in our schools, we have a lot of families that have stumbled here.
They are bruised and battered from bullying or have struggled with a school system, or they have medical reasons why they're here. And homeschooling was never the goal.
And so, so far,
probably without thinking it through, because it hasn't occurred to them yet,
their vision is more or less get through school.
And it's not at all uncommon for us to have some.
Some very bruised high schoolers that are coming in. And at this point, parents, high school's a hard time to join this life,
and it can be a white knuckle. What do I have to do to get through this?
Is adding a vision helpful at this point, or is it just more to do and more to think about?
Jaime: Oh, absolutely. In fact,
welcome. If you are listening and you're in one of those boats, you're safe here. And we're so glad you're here,
I think. Absolutely. I think it's so critical that you do that because definitely part of that mission, you know, so you have your vision, but part of that mission's gonna be healing, and it's gonna be finding you.
And.
And so that's,
you know,
you're maybe trying to get away from one thing, but then figure out what. Then what are you gonna run to. And that's gonna be your vision.
Because life doesn't stop at the end of high school too.
Rebecca: And working out of survival mode.
Jaime: Yeah.
Rebecca: And into something that feeds better.
Jaime: Yes. And it's hard cuz sometimes you can't see that light at the end of the tunnel. But it will come. And I think it's take a breath and then think.
If I didn't have to try to just get through this, what would I do?
What would I want to do? And that might even be a hard answer. A hard question.
Rebecca: Might be a good question to ask the high schooler.
Jaime: Yes. Yes. And they might not know yet. It might still be a lot of pain, a lot of trauma.
But it might be something where you take them for a walk. You can just debris just go, okay, you are safe now.
You're okay. Let's make this count.
And then talk with your hst. Talk with the high school counselor because they have ideas that. And you share that we want something more. Maybe you don't know what it is.
Maybe you just want to work. Yeah. You're like I just want to get out and I want to work. Well let's explore what that could look like. Where you're doing something you love.
Because life is so worth investing into.
Yeah.
Rebecca: And it might take em a little while. It might be. They might be unsure of staying what they really wanna do.
Jaime: Yes. Yes.
Rebecca: To learn about. Yeah.
Jaime: Sometimes it's scary to.
Rebecca: Yeah.
Jaime: To dream big. Yeah. And so maybe start. Maybe your vision develops through the year. Maybe you don't have your vision till the end. But ask the questions. So print that worksheet, ask the questions and just let marinate.
I think that's also don't pressure yourself to answer everything right away. Like if there's times, you know, I've done this worksheet myself for like six years now and seven, eight.
Oh my gosh.
And I still go, oh, I don't know how I'm going to answer that one today.
But then it melds in your mind.
Rebecca: And coming up with a vision mission is not a one hour activity. If you do it in an hour, you probably need to sleep on it and come back to it.
Jaime: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah.
Rebecca: And don't forget to include your partner in the conversation.
Jaime: Exactly. Yes, yes,
yes.
Or have a friend, you know, if you're, if you're doing it alone, like go to a friend, go to an hst, go to someone else, go to a park day, you know, and be like can I run this by you?
What do you think you know someone.
Rebecca: Who knows you,
knows what's important to you, to your family, maybe the trials your family has been through and things you want to overcome or do differently going forward.
Jamie, this has been a really special conversation. Thank you so much for making the drive to be here with me today and for sharing your wisdom and experience with our parents.
I know that they will lean a lot from it.
Jaime: Thank you, Rebecca. This is definitely a privilege. Thank you families.
Rebecca: Don't forget to check the show notes. We will have links to the worksheets that Jamie was talking about as well as to anything that we mentioned in the show that can be linked and so don't forget to go there, check that out and get those wonderful tools.
Thanks so much for joining Jaime and I for this episode. Will you please like this episode and share it with a friend and be on The Lookout Monday, October 6th for the next episode when fellow family liaison Becca Heath and I talk about the book Essentialism and talk about what matters most in our homeschools and what doesn't.
Thanks so much for being here for the Sequoia Breeze podcast, a breath of fresh air for your homeschool.
I've been your host, Rebecca La Savio.
What do you think about the changes? Please let me know at podcasts at sequoiagrove.
Org.
See you in October.