The Sequoia Breeze

Rebecca: Welcome to the Sequoia Breeze Podcast, a breath of fresh air for your homeschool. I am your host, Rebecca LaSavio. Thank you for joining me today for this sort of bonus episode of the Sequoia Breeze.

Hopefully you joined me on our last episode for my conversation with my sisters in law, Liz and Liza.

And we got going having such a fabulous conversation that it was way too long for one episode. So I've split it into two to make it easier to listen to.

So you are joining us back in the middle of that conversation, all about raising our preschoolers in our homeschool. We had just talked about how I often tell parents of TK and kindergarteners that their most important jobs are to sing, play, and read, then do it all again.

So we had just covered read. If you didn't listen to the first episode, go back and you can get a really fabulous list of literature to add to your home library or to go to the library and look for.

And now you're going to jump right in to our conversation as we switch to talking about playing and music. What an important role those play in our little people's development.

Enjoy the conversation.

So let's talk briefly about play. Is it important? Okay, I'm going to start it off with. Let me say this.

My grandfather used to say, actually, I think it's a quote from somebody else, but he quoted it a lot. I'll have to find who the quote is from. Play is the serious business of children.

Liz: Yeah.

Rebecca: Agree or disagree?

Liz: I think it is very serious business for them.

Liza: Yeah, I think that they. It look. It can look very different than we think it should. Like, it can be something, this monotonous task, like I was saying, like, you know, pouring and pouring and pouring and pouring.

But it's so satisfying. They're trying to sort of gain that skill, but they're not doing it in sort of a abstracted way. They're just in it. And I think. I mean, I think play is so important.

I. That's one of the reasons I became a preschool teacher, because that feeling with my own children and just being playful is so important as an adult, too. It's like that idea of you don't know what's going to come next.

It's sort of improv, you know, you're going to kind of like, see what happens and then react to it and then have some fun with it, add on to it, you know, that kind of thing.

And I think that's just, I mean, neurologically so important for us as adults. Just, well.

Rebecca: And they Practice creating order, too.

Liza: Yeah.

Rebecca: You know, they invent rules.

Liza: They.

Rebecca: I sometimes hear the kids say, okay, now you say this. Okay, now you say this. You know, like creating, finding their place within their peer group and just spending time imagining and having conversations, whether it's with their dolls or their cars or building.

And they're so proud. And there's that sense of success and a hundred percent or it got knocked down. So what. How are you going to react to that?

Liza: Yep, yep, yep.

Liz: I think that. I think you can dive in almost too much about how play is good only in that if you start getting worried about it, it can be a little bit of a killjoy.

But, I mean, everything from collecting leaves can be translated to how you hold a pencil and being able to traverse a rock is going to be able to give you good core strength, which will help you later on in pe.

Like, you know, there's so much. There's like. If you really analyze play, I think what we were given is exactly what our bodies and our brains need, especially outdoor play.

They need dirt, rocks, water.

And plants are great. Plants really help, too. But if you think about all of the ways that they can develop with just those things, it's. It's kind of incredible. And I try to.

I almost try to not think about it when I see them outside, because I don't want to, like, kill the absolute beauty of it, Especially on these fall days, and I see the kids racing up a hill and running back down the hill, and I start thinking, like, oh, man, they're really developing muscle memory.

And then I'm like, stop it, Liz. Stop it. They're beautiful in the sunshine and the wind and.

Rebecca: So, quick book recommendation based on what you're saying is Roxaboxin.

Liz: Yes, Roxaboxin. That was such a good one.

Rebecca: Or the raft. Very different. Beautiful outdoor exploring.

Liz: Yeah.

I think. I think it'll take most moodiness away from a kid that's struggling with school is just taking them outside.

I think their little legs need to get pumping, their heart needs to get pumping. They need to do a lot of running. They need to do a lot of playing with things with their hands and imagining things differently.

Rebecca: Gosh.

Liz: See, this is where it can kind of kill the joy. But imagine if you can take rocks and leaves and create a world. What are you going to do with your business someday?

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah.

Liz: I'm just saying.

But it's true. And I think sometimes we get a little carried away thinking, like, we have to do these worksheets, especially if we're Box checkers, which I am a box checker.

Like I have a list of things I want to do and this is in their curriculum and I want to check their box. But really what they can find outside will bring them more joy, I think.

I think it really does grow their brain more easily, if not better. And it will, it will help them further whatever they'll. They're going for. Cuz after all we are talking about four and five year olds, not seventh and eighth graders.

So I'll throw that out there.

Liza: Well, and I would say also that almost just that they would have that outdoor play I know for my own self when I would be absorbing a lot of information. And then you kind of have that resting time where you're really letting it percolate and then absorb into your being.

And so maybe you've read books and done stuff all morning and then having that outside time. I think, gosh, something is happening there. I don't know what because I'm not a scientist, but I feel like it's just a really important counterbalance to consuming information is to just have that processing time outside.

And I agree with all the things you said, Liz. Just being outside, getting to touch and feel and do, it's all so important.

Rebecca: Music. What role does music play for this age group?

Liz: I'm really bad at music. Do you want to, you want to take this one?

Liza: I would say I always feel like I wish we had more music.

I try to do a lot of listening. Like we'll just lay on our backs and listen to anything from Tchaikovsky to, you know, Ladysmith Blackmun, Bozo. Sometimes we'll kind of take whatever continent we're sort of focusing on and then just use that as a catalog or a jumping off point.

It is so cool to see how they all react to different sounds and like what kind of really, I guess, moves them. And one time I had a little girl say I had told them about Beethoven and how, you know, described his story and how he had lost his hearing.

And she went back to her mom and she said, so this man, he was writing all this beautiful music, but then he lost his ears. So he had to, he had to write the music with his heart.

And it was like, oh my gosh, that's what I should have said.

But I guess just to see how it moves them, even anything from just drumming to, you know, sophisticated jazz or something, it's cool to just expose them. And I love music, but I almost always wish I try to sing as we go throughout the day, but I always Wish I did that more, you know, I think it's just a.

It's a beautiful way to sort of just string together a day. We do it a lot for transitions, which helps so much versus, like, okay, everybody at the fence, you know, it's like, hi ho, hi ho, it's off to the lake we go.

You know, so those are helpful things. But yes, always more music and getting.

Rebecca: The kids to sing too. Like, kids love to make music. They love to sing. And so many kids songs also involve body movement. And you're doing all kinds of brain cross.

Cross hemisphere brain stuff when you sing and move your body. And that's something I wasn't always super great at myself. So that was where YouTube was my friend. Like, let's learn some.

Some songs or. My mom. My mom's really good at that. She was also a kindergarten teacher for a long, long time. So sometimes I left that in her department. Listening.

I try to turn a lot of music on in the background when I can. Lots of different kinds. Maybe I don't expect them to be able to appreciate classical music, but they can at least let it feel kind of homey, you know, it can be a soundtrack in their life.

I would encourage, like, songs with questionable lyrics. Kids will absorb those really fast. So we're talking about music. It's not just anything.

Liz: You mean.

Liza: Avoid Snoop Dogg.

Rebecca: I don't know. He's everybody's grandpa now.

Anything. One or two quick things that you would. Maybe you're glad you did with your kids or you wish or you would do differently with your first one or two.

Because the reality is we all learn a whole lot with our first couple. Right.

We get further down the line.

Liza: I did it perfectly from the beginning.

I would say right away, as we all sort of made comments about. But I remember stressing out about Thomas, not. He would always skip 13, I think it was. And I was just like, oh, my gosh, what is happening?

Like, I've failed.

Rebecca: When he'd count, he'd go 12, 14.

Liza: Yes.

Rebecca: Yeah.

Liza: And just remembering that. Yeah, that it's a process. And it's all. If you just come towards this thing in love and attentiveness, it will work out like it's. It's part of.

Yeah. Our call.

Rebecca: And he's about to turn 21. Does he remember 13 now?

Liza: He. He kind of does since he is. Yeah, he's doing pretty well for himself, but yeah. And you just really. And it's all about the spirit.

Rebecca: Right?

Liza: I mean, I realize also my younger years of mothering I'm trying to get this sourdough done, but I'm so stressed about the sourdough that I'm know, mad at my kids. And you're just like, no, this isn't working.

Like, let the sour to go be loving towards your kids and kind of, you know, just remember, yeah, recalibrate. So I feel like I got better at that as it went along.

But those pressures that we put on ourselves sort of arbitrarily versus just coming towards each moment in love, I just, yeah, I would do more of that when I had my first kiddos.

Liz: Agreed. When you were, when you were talking, Liza, about observing your kids that day, I was thinking, I wish I had that wisdom when I was a new mom in beginning educating.

Rebecca: It's funny, you mean like observing where they are with their current needs, what's.

Liz: Going on that day. My oldest is also named Thomas for the listeners, just for cousin confusion.

Liza: Thomas.

Liz: Thomas.

Um, and I would push and I would push and I would push and I would push. And he was such a good sport about it. He is still such a good sport about it.

Never complained. But I just think, like, it would have been a lot more enjoyable for us if I hadn't had the mentality that I had to get it done and if I just saw him for who he was at that time.

You know, looking back, you can't exactly figure out what would have happened if I hadn't pushed and pushed. But I do know that now when I'm working with the kiddos, like I said, I have a couple of my son's friends that come over and we do some TKK stuff together.

And he came and he likes to be a little dramatic. And so he plops on the table and he says, this is my sad face. And Kai says, why? And he says, my mom's in the hospital.

She's getting tests and pokes and prods and they're looking at her blood and they're trying to figure out why she can't breathe well. And I said, oh, she has asthma, right?

He said, yeah, that's why I have this sad face.

I thought immediately, okay, we're not going to do a whole lot today.

And I know it's crazy, but I used to have this godlike complex that, you know, I can create this atmosphere no matter what, that you can learn if I try hard enough.

And that's just not true. Yeah, they go through these growth spurts and bad nights of sleep and you go on vacation and they get colds and their brain doesn't work when they have allergies and you just have to have times where, yeah, they just won't always understand.

And also, oh, I wish I had known that they would eventually learn it. All of a sudden like a tooth falling out or like a growth spurt where you wake up and the kid's 2 inches taller and you're not super sure how that happened.

And it's something that I don't know that new moms can believe unless they have an awful lot of trust in us, but it does. It's weird. One day they won't remember 13, and then the next day they don't believe you that they didn't remember 13.

Liza: Right.

Liz: And you're like, how did that happen?

Rebecca: And legitimately, when this podcast season started, I had a non reader and I now have a pretty good reader. Like he, the switch flipped and all the work we've done for the last two years turned on absorbent mind and he's reading and I'm like, did I miss the moment when he was learning this or did it just.

We woke up one day and it really was that fast.

Liz: Yeah. And there, there's, you know, there's different kids. There's kids that just quickly pick it up and, and maybe their, their temperament or self control might be the issue that you're working on most, but there are some kids that it just takes a thousand times, then all of a sudden they know it and they know it deeply and you're like, whoa.

Rebecca: And I just want to say for the four and five year old parents, he's seven now. He wasn't reading at four, he wasn't reading at five, he wasn't reading at six.

But now he's fine. He's almost completely caught up to where his, I'm using air quotes age should be.

So another thing that I hear a lot from parents of littler scholars is he's not very good at writing or he can't hold his pencil or she's not doing a good job cutting or.

And like, physiologically their bones aren't developed enough to do that in some of these kids. So these are.

Liz: But you know what really helps is playing in the mud and playing with twigs and playing with pebbles and little things that you often hide so that they won't play with them.

Liza: Well, we do a lot. Like that's in, in our Montessori. It's like you might have a child who's really struggling with that swooping of the sea. Right. And we have like different jobs like grinding an egg and so that seems very enjoyable to do.

Right. Cracking an eggshell and then grinding it up until it's sand. That's so fun. Right. And lo and behold, they've created that dexterity as they come towards that again and again.

So it's like. Or dropper jobs.

Rebecca: I just want to say you were moving your hand the whole time, like, you were using mortar and pestles.

Liza: Mortar and pestle.

Rebecca: And so you're making C's over and over.

Liz: I was imagining we're whipping a bowl of something and it's spilling on the counter, and me with my older ones not letting them, and now me with my younger ones being like, well, we can skip handwriting today.

Liza: Exactly. Exactly.

Liz: No.

Liza: And all those type of, like, you're saying those things that seem like, oh, why are. You know, we do a lot of dropper jobs, which are so fun for kids, and that's that pincer grip.

Right. And so those. If you can find ways that it's enjoyable for them to do it over and over again, and because they don't feel like it's a chore, it's so fun for them.

That can really energize that sort of part of them that needs. Needs a little, you know.

Liz: Yeah.

Rebecca: All of the things that you guys just suggested don't really have proof at the end of the day.

Liz: Right.

Rebecca: There's no piece of paper, there's no binder where there's no. There's no workbook filled out, but they're 110% legit learning experience.

Liza: Yeah. Yeah.

Rebecca: And if you want to remember that they did it, you can always snap a picture or, you know, write in your planner what you did do rather than what you planned to do.

Liza: Yeah. And that's a really. I like that point there. Because again, like, this sort of improv or play, so important to be able to pivot as a teacher or, you know, homeschooler.

It's like being able to say, okay, I thought this day was going to be about this, but, oh, wow, this, you know, child is really coming towards this. Or like, actually, let's not.

We're going outside because it's raining and we want to get all wet and whatever. But being able to be flexible is. And it's hard as an adult. I find myself as a teacher.

Like, I really have to just take that deep breath and then move into the moment and say, okay, yeah, let's do this now, you know.

Rebecca: And you both have talked about being messy. Yes. Use that word. But you both talked about messy things.

Liz: Yes. Things that make you cringe sometimes because you're in a hurry, but there's no love in hurry. Has anybody ever told you that, Rebecca? Exactly. And I don't know. Okay, so here's another fear that I've heard mentioned a lot of times.

So I hope I'm not taking this totally sideways, but one thing that I've heard is when they're worried about the approach that we're talking about for schooling a child is they want their kid to be able to function in the real world.

Right. Is that okay? If I go there and if you just let the kid play to learn, how are they going to be able to work a job? How are they.

If they want to maybe put them in high school, how are they going to function in high school? How are they going to function in college if they just keep getting kind of on these sidetracks or.

I hear that a lot about unschooling, too, which I don't unschool. I don't even quite understand it. But what I do, what I do know is that I think I might have accidentally had that as part of my childhood for a period.

Rebecca: Because you were also homeschooled.

Liz: Homeschooled. I was homeschooled.

Liza: Yeah.

Liz: And I will. I will say that these kids turn out exceptionally hard workers.

I know quite a few people that have gone through public school from the very beginning, and they're not hard workers. I know homeschoolers that have gone through and they're not hard workers.

I know public schoolers that have gone all the way through, and they are hard workers. And I know homeschoolers that have gone all the way through and they are hard workers.

I think it had a lot to do with. Just with the family, you know, how the family raises them and their values at home, not necessarily the track that you take.

So if you are working on a page and you're worried that this is giving up and you're teaching your child that they're not going to have to finish their job someday?

And, like, how. How is it going to look down the line? That's not it at all. And I wouldn't put really any. Any weight in that. I don't know if anybody can articulate that better than I can right now.

Liza: Well, I would say you're hitting on don't educate out of fear. Don't act out of fear. Right. So I like that idea of one of the quotes I have hanging in the preschool is, do small things with great love, Mother Teresa.

But it's almost like Just those small acts daily over many, many years. Those are the things that are going to really grow a child and your relationship and that character that we want.

Right. And I think it's like if you're sitting there in fear, like I was with Thomas with a 13, it's like they can. They can sense her fear, but they can.

And they can tell that there's like this abstracted expectation versus just coming towards that and waiting, having patience, modeling all those things and realizing it will work out. And if, like you said earlier, like, if you do come across something, you're like, ooh, I.

I still don't feel like this is right. Or something a little off, then you'll. Because you're observing, because you're loving well, because you're watching, you'll come and find the resources you need for that, you know, but it feels like, yeah, don't.

Don't educate out of fear.

Rebecca: I think a lot of times our kids interpret that as disappointment.

Liza: Right.

Rebecca: You know, we might be worried about them, but they. They sense I'm not doing everything they want me to do, and so we're disappointed.

Liza: Yeah.

Rebecca: And I think most of the time that's not what we want them to.

Liza: Yeah, right.

Liz: You know, it's true. Usually it's us that we're disappointed in. We just don't.

Rebecca: Yeah, that's a good point.

Liz: We just don't show that. I thought of the word that I would like to insert into the previous thing I was trying to say is that if you teach them something, even while you're pivoting and changing directions, it's teaching them grit.

Because grit is what's actually going to help them succeed in their career. More so than finishing work pages in a timely manner, more so than doing four hours every day at first grade or whatnot.

Just teaching them grit in what they are doing. So take them outside and if they fall in a puddle, just show them that they're okay. You know, let them play with the wheel, bro.

That's kind of hard. Or just let them do the hard things. And I think that will go a lot further in raising little children to become good adults. Better than checklists.

Liza: Yeah. And also piggybacking on that like that. You know, they go out, they fall down. Then we have an opportunity to talk about changing clothes and how we do zippers and, you know, all those things.

Like, we don't avoid messes in the preschool because it's like, it. It's this beautiful opportunity to say, you know, oh, how are we going to Clean this up. Oh, actually, it has paint with it, so we need to get out a different tool.

That's just a whole opportunity in front of you, you know? And then what happens? Oh, it looks like Weston's going to help you, too. How cool. Look, we're doing teamwork, and they're just.

You know, you can just continue to use those as these beautiful moments instead of shutting them down or be like, ugh, this is so frustrating. This is not how I wanted the day to go.

And that's exactly like you said, being able to be adaptable in life, grit. That's what we. I mean, I'm still working on it, but it's so. It's so helpful to just take that deep breath and say, okay, this is the next.

Next right thing to do.

Rebecca: So what do you do when mama's having a bad day? I'm springing this one on you.

Liz: Oh, there was two questions you told me that you were thinking about asking, and that's a tough one, too.

Okay. You know where I am not at in motherhood and homeschooling is the moms that when they're having a bad day, they just stop and they're, you know, and they, like, say, this is a nature day.

Like, I don't have that in me just yet.

Liza: Maybe.

Liz: Maybe in 10 years.

Liza: Like.

Rebecca: So you're saying you aspire to that?

Liz: I kind of aspire to that. Maybe they'll have beaten it out of me by then.

But there's a fair part of me that thinks that, like, maybe my rage is good for you. I don't know. We'll see how this goes. Someone has to teach you to behave, and it might as well be this version of me.

You always behave better the next day.

Liza: Mean, Mama's coming to town.

Liz: Oh, my goodness. So, yeah, I do aspire to be that mom. I think.

I mean, okay, in all seriousness, what do I do when I'm having a bad day? I try the tapping thing. I try lots of deep breaths because, guys, I get really overwhelmed.

Liza: Yeah.

Liz: You know, I get overstimulated. Apparently, there's a word for that, right?

Liza: I am sensory overload.

Liz: Sensory overload.

And the deep breathing and praying and tapping and.

And I'm. I'm honest with the kids now, and I say, guys, this is overwhelming me. Like, I have to have you speak one at a time.

Liza: Yeah.

Liz: Like, when the third kid runs in and has a problem and they're like, you know, the house is on fire, the next one comes, my room is on fire, the next one Comes like, my hair is on fire.

Like, who am I going to put the fire out for first? And just being honest and saying, guys, this is too much. You know, one at a time. I am a human.

Treat me as such.

Liza: Yeah.

Liz: And I don't. I don't know. Let the cards fall where they may. They need to learn. Moms are humans, too. I guess.

Liza: I would say. I. I think in my younger years, I wanted to be perfect, so I was worse about just admitting my limitations. And I'm almost coming towards that in a more honest way.

And that was what was not as good. And because actually that, like you said, telling your kids where you're at, showing them how to apologize, and just say, like, this is.

This is how I felt, and I reacted like this. And I really wish I had reacted like this because this is what I really wanted to say, and I'm sorry.

Let's try it again. Or that type of thing is such an amazing practice. And, you know, still practicing it in my mothering and my marriage.

Liz: I will say a good apology takes the wind out of your anger sails.

Liza: Yeah.

Liz: As a mother. Right. It just kind of takes the umph out of the fight. Well.

Liza: And you kind of. You realize they are so compassionate so often. I mean.

Liz: Oh, so much.

Liza: I mean, depending.

Liz: Yeah.

Liza: Young there. But even, like, young ones, you know, you can just say, I'm just happy. And then it just gives you that time to just resettle and not be flooded. Right.

Because that's what's going on. And then it's teaching them how, like, wow, you look so overwhelmed. You need a second to, you know. And all of those good lessons that we.

We sort of know about and we've read about, and then we can actually show them again. Model is just amazing. But, yeah, that's what I would say.

Rebecca: Our family is always sort of asked each other fairly bluntly, like, are you grumpy? Are you mad at me? Are you? Like, we kind of check in, and I have one kid who I think is worried sometimes that I'm mad at her.

And she'll be like, mom, are you mad at me? And it gives me a chance to say, no. I'm just kind of stressed about getting out the door. Like, it gives me a chance to give her what's real instead of what she's imagining or fearing, which is so important.

It is. And I think sometimes I don't realize that that's something we do in our family. And I'll ask somebody else, like, are you grumpy? And then those kind of jump.

Yeah, it's not a judgment. I just gauge the wind here.

Liza: Yeah, totally. And it gives you a second to think. I actually, I probably have that same grumpy affect sometimes. And like you realize, oh yeah, I sometimes then take a moment of inventory and just be like, yeah, I'm actually feeling super overwhelmed with X, Y or Z.

And then. But like you said, reassure them this isn't you or this part of it is you. I have asked you a couple of times about the kitty litter and it's still not done.

And every time I come down the hall it smells. Can you. You know, but, and that's another thing I would say family meetings are helpful depending on the age and stuff, but just being able to air your grievances, just, you know, we have those and just it helps to be able to say like, hey, I'm frustrated because I do feel like I've talked to everybody about this and it's not happening.

So any ideas? You know, that kind of thing.

Rebecca: And I think we kind of have a couple of times gone big broad mama job and. But we are still trying to focus on the little people and we need to be careful not to put too much of this on a little person.

But like, I'm not mad at you, but I have asked you to do something three times and I need you to finish that so that we can move on to the next thing.

Or I'm feeling kind of frustrated because you're not cooperating and that's keeping us from being able to do this and this and that, you know, but not unleash all of the.

Liza: Yes. Extra stuff.

Rebecca: Yeah. All of the adult like, burden of the big picture does not need to be dumped on this poor four year old's head.

Liza: Totally, totally.

Liz: That is true. I am imagining this conversation with my older children dialing it back to the four year old. He wouldn't react.

Rebecca: Isn't he almost six now?

Liz: Five. Yeah, he is almost six.

Liza: Yeah.

Liz: Yeah. He acts like he's four.

Rebecca: Yeah.

Liza: But even with the preschoolers, I mean, today I had a stern moment with one of them. Just saying like that was really frustrating that you weren't listening to me because I might see something ahead on the path that I really need to be aware of.

And so when you're not giving me your eyes, that makes me feel really nervous. And so just walking them through that process and then they know why that there's that intense face.

It's not just like, you know, so I do think that they. Yeah. It's almost like don't bring him in, into the really big things, but you can walk them through that process.

And I think it gives them that like, oh, okay, there are important things here that might, I might not see, you know.

Rebecca: So the last thing I wanted to touch on for this age group was sort of the opposite of what we've been talking about. We've been talking about what to do with them, how to help them learn and grow, but sometimes their child 2, 3, 4, 5 in line and the bigger kids need to have a chance to learn that math, do that.

And Liz, I just want to reassure our viewers, you actually do fairly rigorous amount of school with your kids.

You do teach them math and writing and history and science. So you just very much value the playtime. And so when, you know, when the fourth grader is stuck on a math concept, you need the 5 year old and the 3 year old to be able to give you 10 minutes to explain a concept, to finish that, to do that thing.

And so let's sort of flip it around and like, how can we help those little people whose entire worldview is everything revolves around me because that's their age and their mental stage.

How do we help them either find something to do, grow the self control to leave you alone for a few minutes, like what are some things that we could teach them while we're trying to do?

And, and I say older kids, but maybe sometimes the baby needs some attention.

Liza: Too, you know, and you at a preschool level. I, it is interesting because I do encounter this a lot where I'm trying to get through a more advanced concept with one child and, you know, other ones.

So right away teaching them to put their hand on your shoulder and not interrupt if I'm in a lesson and then wait until my hand is on top of them and then I'll, you know, look back and say, what do you need?

Something like that. But I would say a prepared environment. I always felt like with my children growing up and then preschool is the same, but the environment is already prepared in, in my case.

But with my own children growing up, it was like giving them my first fruits in the sense of like making sure there is something sort of that's really directed towards them nicely that they can occupy themselves with.

Rebecca: Fill their tank.

Liza: Yes. And really fills their tank. And it isn't just sort of like a go find something to do type of thing, but really like here then have that opportunity with the other children.

In this case in the preschool, it would, there's so much to kind of be invited towards that it's not quite as hard, but I remember when my kids were younger, the idea of I knew if I really wanted to get a stack of laundry done in this case or teach something to another child, it was like I needed to say, okay, I'm going to really come towards this and figure out a neat opportunity for this child in whatever work and then not just sort of shove them away.

So that was what I found most helpful in that scenario. Or you can send them to me at Seedlings.

Actually, a lot of. I have a lot of people who do that where they just want two mornings a week, you know, to be invested in this child and then I'll take them for the other days and they know that they're getting a little bit of a different take on things.

So. Yeah.

Rebecca: So sometimes those tkk can go someplace else for a day or two. Give mom or dad a chance to really focus on a hundred percent. The older kids.

Liz: Yeah. My only encouragement in this area is that it might not look perfect because I don't think I'm actually that great at it. I just don't know how else to fix it because there's so many moving parts.

You know, I think it probably is one of the reasons why I get overstimulated during the day the most is the kids plowing through the door to tell me something exciting.

Because that is the main thing that I do is we do something all together. And then like Liza was saying, having an idea of where they should go after and that that idea is pretty much always outside with another sibling.

So I have the super convenient child age groups where I can do that and not every family can. So it's kind of like you just have to find something that works for you.

But in general, I will have an older child. And by older I mean old enough to tell me if something is going to hurt the toddler or can keep them from going into a road or, you know, responsible enough to keep them safe so that I can work with the other two.

And then I literally just cycle through said older children and get their school done. Because all the little ones want is to be outside.

Liza: Yeah.

Liz: And make sure that they're fed at the correct time because that really stops a lot of sorrows in homeschool.

I don't know, like I said, I don't actually feel like I'm that great at it. That was the second question that I didn't want to feel to answer.

Liza: But I think you're really in it. And so sometimes it can look too messy when you're in it, but it's actually probably working.

Liz: It feels better than you think it is. And I'm sure it is. I. You know, because they're getting through lessons and they're learning and. And maybe it's just not the idea that I had when I woke up that morning, but it is what was intended for me.

So here I go.

Liza: And that's also happens to teacher. I mean, it's funny, like, in the classroom, too. That's. That's what happens a lot. It just gets. Something gets sidetracked or off, and you just, again, roll.

Adaptability.

Liz: Yeah.

Rebecca: I think I've been thinking about this a lot. I had somebody. I ran into somebody in the grocery store last week, and they told me, you do so much and you make it look so easy.

And I was like, I'm barely hanging on.

Liza: Right, right.

Rebecca: You know, and I told my husband the other day that I feel like having our household and school be orderly is like grasping sand.

Liza: Yeah.

Rebecca: You grab this handful and you enthusiastically attack a new week, and it's going to be great. And it takes like 10 minutes for all that sand to just 100% through your hand.

Liz: You do an amazing job, and then your teenager's cranky and you're like, hey.

Liza: Hey, we almost got an A today, please.

Rebecca: You know, but at the same time, like, I think. I think I'm coming to the conclusion that that's what this is. The fact is that we all have a lot of kids and we have a lot of things going on around us, and so it's never going to be orderly because we're not working with robots.

So, I mean, there can be order, but it's not going to always follow the plan that we woke up with 100%. And how we respond to how it in fact goes dictates probably how the rest of the day.

Liza: Yes. The mad moment comes. Yeah.

Rebecca: Well, ladies, thank you so much for being here and sharing your experience and wisdom and learning. And I know that we're going to have a lot of parents of Littles that will be encouraged and appreciate the resources that you guys have brought up.

So thank you for being here.

Liza: Thank you for having us. Rebecca.

I wanted to add in one.

One quote that a woman shared with me from my church early on when I was in a breakdown moment was, it's hard because it's hard.

And it was really reassuring because it's that feeling of, like, it's not hard necessarily because you're doing anything wrong. It is just hard.

Rebecca: So that's a really good one.

Liza: It made me cry and I hope it makes you cry.

Rebecca: Well listeners, I hope you've made it this far and enjoyed our talk about all of our kids and how hope that you feel encouraged as you are raising these little people that one day will be wonderful adults.

Thank you for putting in the time that it takes to raise the your kids and to teach them well.

This has been another episode of the Sequoia Breeze Podcast, a breath of fresh air for your homeschool. I am your host, Rebecca LaSavio. If you have any questions or thoughts, I'd love to hear them at Podcasts at Sequoia Breeze sorry, podcasts@sequoiagrove.org.